[Leica] [ JOKE ] "Picture this..."

[Andre Jean Quintal <megamax@abacom.com>]

I just couldn't help forwarding it:
It's actually the first OMINOUS e-mail I read today.
COULD be a very, very good day !
Received from the Festival astrology list.
NOW you know what some astrologers think about...

Andre Jean Quintal

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Date: Mon, 01 Mar 1999 22:03:45 -0800
Subject: Joke very funny...
From: "sally harrington" <moonfire@whidbey.net>
To: festival@esosoft.com

 Bad day in Heaven
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy.  The new law was that, in order to get into  Heaven, you
had to have a really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would
go
into effect at noon the next day.
 So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of  Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man,
"Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your      day was going when
you died." "No problem," the man said.  I came home to my 25th floor
apartment
on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair.  But her lover  was
nowhere in sight.  I immediately began searching for him.  My wife  was half
naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.  Just as I was
about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that
there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!  The nerve of that
guy!
Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to
the ground.  But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some  trees and bushes
that broke his fall and he didn't die.  This ticked me off even more.  In a
rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my  hands on to
throw at him.  Oddly enough, the first  thing I  thought of was the
refrigerator.  I unplugged it, pushed it out onto  the  balcony, and tipped
it
over the side.It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died
.almost instantly"
The Angel sat back and thought a moment.  Technically, the guy did  have a
bad
day.  It was a crime of passion.  So, the Angel announces, "OK  sir. Welcome
to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up.  To the Angel's surprise,  was
Vernon Jordan.  "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I need to hear about
what your day was like when you died."   Jordan said, "No problem.  But
you're
not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment
doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really
pushing hard to relieve my stress.  I guess got a little carried away,
slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!  Luckily, I was able to catch
myself  by the fingertips on the balcony below mine.  But all of a sudden
this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and  stomps on
my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes  at  the
bottom, which broke my  fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm  laying
there
face up on the ground, unable to move and in  excruciating pain, I see this
guy push his refrigerator of all things off the      balcony. It falls the
25
floors and lands on top of me killing me instantly."        The Angel is
quietly laughing to himself as Jordan finishes his story.  "I could get used
to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well,"  the Angel
announces.
"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and  he lets Vernon  enter.   A few
seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate.  The  Angel is almost
too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the
Angel's head.  Finally he says "Mr..President, please tell me what it was
like
the day you died."  Clinton says, "OK, picture this.  I'm naked inside a
refrigerator..."

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   "Only when it's dark enough
    can you see the stars."

	Martin Luther King jr