Re: [Leica] 'this is how the photo business works....

["geebeespaw" <geebeespaw@btopenworld.com>]

From: "kyle cassidy" <kcassidy@asc.upenn.edu>
To: <leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us>
Sent: 23 July 2002 16:15
Subject: [Leica] 'this is how the photo business works....


> So, a few months ago I get a call from Artemis records. Am the guy who
> photographed Carfax Abbey? Indeed. Can I fly to Ohio in two weeks to
> photograph Lollippplustkill? Sadly the dates don't work for me. No
problem,
> Artemis will fly the band to Philadelphia. Shall they work out details
with
> my assistant? My assistant? I put down the phone and pick it up again
> speaking in a deeper voice, "This is Mr. Cassidy's assistant. Please send
a
> CD, Mr. Cassidy will get back to you." They send me a CD. It's fantastic.
I
> call back in a deep voice, "This is Mr. Cassidy's assistant. He likes the
CD
> and would be happy to photograph the band." Artemis puts six guys on an
> airplane and ships them out to the East Coast. Then they fly two record
> company execs plus one manager down from New York to look over my shoulder
> and make me nervous. Can the Leicaslacker perform when people are actually
> paying him? The makeup artist and hairstylist take over my living room
with
> aluminum cases filled with potions and powders. I'm so baffled by the
whole
> thing I take a bunch of pictures of the whirlwind in my house. Nobody
> wonders where my assistant is, the place is filled with so many
sychophants
> they assume that within the various colliding entourages some of them must
> be mine. I wonder briefly if I should have called some models and had them
> lounge around the place drinking martini's. The bass player pops their CD
> into the sterio and stands between the speakers in a trance, leaning
> forward, eyes closed, windows rattling. I'm wondering if the band is going
> to trash my place. Oddly enough, they're all very polite and use coasters.
> They look through my portfolio and say it's a little "too edgy" for them.
Is
> this not the band who sings "Kill my mother, Kill my father, I want to
watch
> you DIE!"? The band who's new album is called "My Socalled Knife" is
wigged
> out by pictures of dead rats and girls cutting themselves? The guitar
player
> asks Linda if she ever worries about hell. It seems to be troubling him
> deeply. At midnight the record company execs take us out to a fancy hotel
> bar where most of the band proceeds to get incredibly wasted (with the
> exception of one guy who doesn't drink; he eats a lot of trailmix), I
> photograph them scaring people in the lobby. There is a Cutco convention
in
> the hotel and one of the guitar players grabs a sword out of a
presentation
> display and runs around the bar screaming and waving it in the air. I get
> great stuff. The band gets spotted by fans. They autograph cocktail
napkins.
> One of them goes upstairs with a pair of girls. Linda and I drink a
hundred
> dollars worth of cosmopolitians. The band drinks considerably more. The
> record exec puts it on his corporate AmEx. The next morning we drive to
> numerous locations in a swank rented van, I photograph more. They've
rented
> the lobbey of the Hotel Softel. we shoot there too. One of my strobes
> breaks. One of my cameras jams. I pretend that nothing is wrong. Why did
my
> assistant forget to bring the bracket that connects the umbrella to the
> stand? Where is my assistant? Obviously, I fired that irrisponsible
bastard
> for not bringing the proper umbrella bracket. I tape the umbrella to the
> stand with gaffers tape. Periodically I speak into the dialtone of my cell
> phone barking things like "If it's not properly color corrected I take my
> business elsewhere. Don't fuc|< with me you little weasel; you're not the
> only pro lab in town." The record execs seem pleased by this. We shoot for
> two days. I make somewhere around twelve hundred exposures. They pay me
> handsomely, somehow not having figured out in 48 hours that I'm a complete
> fraud. Three months later I get a copy of the CD in the mail, containing
> three of my most lackluster images, one intentionally blurred and two
> montaged with someone elses photos the band's only in two of the photos,
it
> looks swell but what about all those great shots? You can't really see the
> band, let alone expensive hair and makeup. No wonder CD's cost a
fortune....
>
> If you like Korn and Tool, you'll probably like LLK.....
>
>
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000066JH5/qid=1027433650/sr=2-1/ref=
> sr_2_1/102-3603718-9599307
>
> Capitol letters inserted for Jim Brick.
>
> kc
>
> No Archive
>
======================================================================
As far as I am concerned this type of stuff is the heartbeat of the LUG. I
read it much the same slack jawed sort of way that I read
http://www.dantestella.com/stories/ciara.html . Beyond that statement words
fail me.


Graham
http://geebeephoto.com


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