[Leica] How to photograph your cat

[Kyle Cassidy <KCassidy@asc.upenn.edu>]

From my upcoming book _How to Photograph Anything_ (looking for a publisher
at the moment). This is chapter 4 "How to Photograph Your Cat"

1) invite some model home on the pretext that your liquor cabnet is awash in
absinthe, recently smuggled back from lands where they don't yet know
better.

2) spend about five hours getting potted and listening to alice cooper.

3) phone rings, it's mom, ask her "Isn't it past your bedtime? Who gave you
this number? I'll call you tomorrow."

4) hang up telephones. sway back into living room, wondering why there are
suddenly two models. ask both of them "shouldn't we take some photos before
the sun comes up?"

5) while trying to figure out why the two flashes aren't giving off any
light when power switch is set to "on", stare blankly at the floor for two
minutes before remembering that it's not a hot light and that it only lights
up for a fraction of a second and only when triggered.

6) set palms on fire trying to pat out flaming absinthe one of the models
spills on the stairs.

7) manage a few photos of models who then run upstairs to see if any liquor
remains in house which has escaped watchful eyes of rock band recently
crashed on living room floor.

8) jealous cats jump up on chairs asking "don't you love us more than them?"

9) snap a few photos of cats and chase them off of chairs.

10) next few steps very hazy....

11) wake up with face crusted to bathroom floor, flip through prints and
realize one model and one cat did not show up on film yet have distinct (if
completely fuzzy) memory of them.

12) realize phone number model left on napkin begins with "555"

13) post cat images to LUG.




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