Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2004/02/06

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Subject: Re: [Leica] Ted Is Almost 75?
From: Jerry Lehrer <jerryleh@pacbell.net>
Date: Fri, 06 Feb 2004 22:23:58 -0800
References: <3.0.2.32.20040206233649.0200e610@pop.infionline.net>

Marc

It is comforting to know that at least there is one LUGer a few days older than
I.

Jerry

Marc James Small wrote:

> At 10:36 PM 2/6/04 EST, P2CON@aol.com wrote:
> >Ted is nearing 75 and still working so has no time for such foolhardy
> antics.
> >I am nearing 73 and retired so have plenty of time and energy to play, and
> >lots of toys to play with.
>
> This disturbs me more than a bit, as I have it on grand authority that Ted
> is actually 177 years old.  After all, he DID teach his grandmother how to
> suck eggs and instructed Daguerre in the basics of the photographic trade.
> As a middle-aged  craftsman, he suggested to Carl Zeiss that he hire Ernst
> Abbe to design lenses.  Later in his life, he ran into Oskar Barnack
> meandering about the hills of Germany and, with the compassion so expected
> of a person of Ted's character, suggested to the asthmatic fellow that he
> might do better to develop a camera using movie film -- in fact, thought
> this has been lost to history, Ted actually suggested to Oskar that this
> would result in a "small camera, big image", a logo later stolen without
> credit to Ted, by Minox but, at least, Minox is now safely in the Leica
> camp, so what can we say?  Ted went on to be the official photographer on
> the voyage of the TITANIC, on the LUSITANIA, and on the HINDENBERG.  In the
> midst of this, he taught photography to Lawrence of Arabia and accompanied
> him on camel raids deep into the desert to catch the Dastardly Huns up to
> their customary Evil Deeds. (Much of this has been excized from history due
> to the unfortunate occasion when Ted tossed a glass of Lagavulin in the
> face of Lowell Thomas, but, then, that is a tale for another day and, in
> any event, occurences at the Casual Officers' Club in Damascus in 1918 are
> probably protected by the Statute of Limitations.
>
> Ted's later exploits include snoodling with Julia Child while she was on
> her various OSS missions during the Second World War, escorting Madame
> Chiang Kai-Shek to the Wimbledon Meet of 1947, and taking Margaret Truman
> to NASCAR races (her passion) throughout the US Southlands in the 1950's.
> His connections with Kim Philby have remained obscure but, what the hey,  a
> snippy but uncertain reputation for exotic deeds can substitute for a
> 600-page tome by Gospodin Solzhenitzyn.  His exploits duirng the Second
> World War did cause him to be nominated for, and to decline, many awards
> and decorations, as the accomplishments assigned to him DO appear
> improbable -- after all, how could the same person have suggested to Lord
> Gort that Dunkirk was THE beach and advised the Admiralty just where
> BISMARCK was to be found and argued Churchill into ordering the epic raid
> on Penemunde which so slowed the German rocket programme?  And the tale
> that it was Ted who talked Eisenhower into ordering that D-Day was to be on
> 6 JUN 1944 despite the weather forecast -- well, it beggars the
> imagination, but the memoirs of those involved keep referring to "our solid
> Ted" and "Ted, the all-knowing", so maybe these tales are true.
>
> I could go on, but Ted is undoubtedly dying from shame at the reading of
> his REAL story.  Those of you who only view him as some sort of decrepit
> flack for Lagavulin miss the import of his contributions to Crown and
> Empire over the course of his lengthy, and well-pickled, career.
>
> Allow us, Ted, to greet you in honor and respect as being the last
> surviving member of those ravaging Canadian militia hordes who drove back
> the US Army at the battle of Drewery's Lane and thus preserved Canada for
> the Crown.  My folks were on the other side, but I am glad, after the
> passage of these years, to grant you the honor to which you so obviously
> are owed.
>
> <grins, brother!>
>
> Marc
>
> msmall@infionline.net  FAX:  +540/343-7315
> Cha robh bąs fir gun ghrąs fir!
>
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In reply to: Message from Marc James Small <msmall@infionline.net> ([Leica] Ted Is Almost 75?)