Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2012/07/19
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]Peter, Superb!!! Lennie revisited in the spirit of Gilbert and Sullivan!! More please Cheers Douglas On 19.07.2012 05:21, Jayanand Govindaraj wrote: > Peter, > Brilliant parody! Most enjoyable. > Cheers > Jayanand > > On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 6:58 AM, Peter Klein <pklein at threshinc.com> > wrote: >> "Officer Krupke meets Leica" >> by Peter A. Klein >> >> Copyright 2012 Peter A. Klein >> (With apologies to Stephen Sondheim, Leonard Bernstein and Arthur >> Laurents) >> May be copied or distributed provided that credit is given to the >> parodist, and that the apology to the original authors of WEST SIDE STORY >> is included in full. >> >> The following scene is sung to the tune of "Officer Krupke" from WEST SIDE >> STORY. It takes place on a run-down street in Lower Manhattan. A Leica Guy >> is photographing. Officer Krupke--perhaps the grandson of the original >> character--spots him, and his suspicion is aroused. As the scene >> progresses, they are joined by a chorus of other photographers, plus >> several others well known to the photographic community. >> ----- >> >> KRUPKE: Hey, you! Whadya doin' with that expensive camera? >> LEICA GUY: I'm doing street photography. I'm a Leica Guy. >> KRUPKE: A Leica guy? Gimme one good reason for not draggin' you down to >> the station house, you snob! >> >> LEICA GUY: >> Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke >> Please kindly let me be, >> I'm really quite fed up-ke >> With people dissing me. >> I love to shoot my Leica. >> The quality's sublime >> Bleeping Barnack, why is that a crime? >> >> CHORUS: >> Gee, Officer Krupke, please give us a break, >> There's nothin' quite as sharp as what a Leica can take. >> We aren't elitists, we're misunderstood. >> And all our photos, they are good. >> LEICA GUY: They are good! >> >> CHORUS: >> They are good, they are good, >> They are all so good. >> Like, our pictures, they are all so good. >> >> KRUPKE: That's a touchin' good story! >> LEICA GUY: Lemme tell it to the world! >> KRUPKE: Just tell it to the other photographers. >> >> LEICA GUY: >> Dear D-S-L-R shooter, >> I like an f-stop ring. >> Your camera's a computer. >> And mine's a lovely thing >> Your AA filter's blurry >> Your focus imprecise. >> Freaky fringies, Leicas are so nice! >> >> NIKONIAN: >> Gee, Officer Krupke, he's shootin' the breeze. >> My Nikon cost twelve hundred and his Leica ten G's. >> With hundreds of features, the Nikon will rule. >> I'm up-to-date and he's uncool. >> >> LEICA GUY: I'm uncool! >> >> CHORUS: We're uncool, we're uncool, >> We are just not cool. >> We're behind the times and we're uncool. >> >> KRUPKE: Geez, who am I supposed to believe? I know--I'll ask the online >> reviewers! >> >> LEICA GUY: >> Dear kindly D-X-O-Mark. >> You think you know it all. >> My M-9 got so-so marks. >> Which drove me up the wall. >> You only test the sensor, >> Why don't you test the glass? >> Peepin' pixels, I deserve a pass! >> >> DXOMARK: >> Hey, Officer Krupke, this guy is a laugh. >> A camera's definition is its M-T-F graph. >> Objective analysis gives us our cue. >> It's scientifically true. >> >> CHORUS: >> It is true! >> >> It is true, it is true! >> It is true, true, true. >> On the Internet it's always true. >> >> LEICA GUY: You don't know the half of it! >> DPREVIEW: Hello, I'm from Seattle, but I'm British. Do go on. >> >> LEICA GUY: >> My mother uses Nikon, >> My pa, Olympus E. >> My grandpa likes Zeiss Ikon. >> My grandma, Canon D. >> My sister shoots a Lomo. >> My brother shoots a phone. >> Nocti-luxy, I feel so alone! >> >> DPREVIEW (with British accent): >> I say, Sergeant Krupke, you simply don't see. >> The Leica is an artifact with proud history. >> The files are quite lovely. >> The form is antique. >> That combination is unique. >> >> LEICA GUY: I'm unique! >> >> CHORUS: We're unique, We're unique, >> We are so unique. >> Like we're esoteric'ly unique! >> >> DPREVIEW: Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of the most-viewed digital >> camera review site on the Internet, this photographer doesn't need a >> different camera at all. Leica obsession is a retro refinement. >> >> LEICA GUY: Hey, I've declined on account of I'm refined! >> >> DPREVIEW: So take him to an Art Critic! >> >> LEICA GUY: >> I don't like autofocus >> Or menus miles long. >> Or software hocus-pocus, >> It feels completely wrong. >> It's not I'm anti-progress >> I'm only anti-tech. >> Holy Osky, that's why I'm a wreck! >> >> CRITIC: Eek! >> Officer Krupke, the problem is plain: >> He's stuck in 1950 and his shots are mundane. >> It isn't a question of "Je ne sais quoi," >> Deep down inside him he's bourgeois! >> >> LEICA GUY: I'm bourgeois! >> >> CHORUS: >> We're bourgeois, we're bourgeois, >> We are all bourgeois. >> Like, our work don't matter, we're bourgeois. >> >> VARIOUS PHOTOGRAPHERS: >> His shutter makes a clatter. >> He oughta use a flash. >> The camera does not matter. >> Besides, his shots are trash. >> His gear is too expensive. >> His buffer is too small. >> >> LEICA GUY: >> Krupke, they don't understand at all! >> >> Gee Officer Krupke, I'm down on my knees, >> 'Cause no one likes a fella with the Leica disease. >> ALL: >> Gee Officer Krupke, please pose for a pic. >> Gee Officer Krupke: Click! Click! >> >> ----------------- >> >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Leica Users Group. >> See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information > _______________________________________________ > Leica Users Group. > See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information > >