RE: [Leica] Eugene Smiths problems - and a report of an epiphany.

["B. D. Colen" <bdcolen@earthlink.net>]

But Rob, that's what life is all about...we start out attempting to be HCB,
WES, ER, SS, and eventually realize that we are RA, TG, TM, BDC, GW, etc.
etc. - and that's the way it's meant to be. Hopefully we learn from the
people we start out studying and emulating, and eventually figure out who we
are and what we're meant to be doing.

In that light, I wasn't going to share this public ally - and after I do
some of you will undoubtedly laugh and say, "no wonder," but I will.

I sent this off-list to one of our fellow LUGers after my week in Maine
taking Eugene Richards' workshop.
- ---

"Okay...confession, or something like that.

So I did the week with Gene, who is admittedly my photohero, in Maine. All
week I produced total crap - of course it didn't help that we were shooting
chromes rather than b&w, or that rather than let me do a story on the day
everyone else was out looking for stories, he had me take a road trip, stop
my car every five miles on the odometer, and try to find something to shoot!
Anyway, all week we saw Gene's slides, listened to his stories, saw videos
of HCB, WES, etc....

Anyway, the last evening after dinner a group of people was sitting on the
lawn - in front of the library - watching some of the videos that had been
produced. A few people away from me sat Gene and his son, Sam.
Sooooo...having some film left, I shot a roll of Gene and Sam, and gave it
to the overnight processing people. Saturday morning, as we were finishing
up for the week, I got those slides, dumped them on the light box....and had
my epiphany for the week and some time to come....There, staring up at me,
was by far the best work I'd done all week.(And I am more than willing to
bet the best photos Gene will ever have of himself and Sam. And I thought to
myself - "I'm not Gene Richards. I don't want to be Gene Richards. I don't
want to spend my days in crack houses. THIS - the slides on the table - is
who I am. I shoot people, primarily people as parts of families. And that
matters. It is important to the people I shoot for. I am telling them
something about themselves, and helping preserve their idea of who they are.
And that is valuable. If I can sell enough of my work to finance my doing
the same thing for free for some poor families, I'll do that. But, to
paraphrase Ted - THIS IS MY WORK."
- -----------------

We are who we are. Not only is that "okay," it's what moves our little
portions of the world -the photo world in this case - forward. I think.

B. D.


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