[Leica] OT: Automatic Transmissions Are Deadly Boring

[jbm at jbm.org (Jeff Moore)]

2005-06-04-01:38:27 Marc James Small:
> Face it, guy:  automatics are for old fogies,. while stick shifts are cool.

You have a definite point.  I'm still of two minds about having recently
bought the first and only slushbox-equipped car I've ever owned.

My rationale was that, living on the skirt-seam of Manhattan and
spending entirely too much time in stop-and-go traffic, my clutch knee
was feeling plumb wore out after the last two-and-a-half decades'
uninterrupted driving of cars with "real" transmissions.  I miss the
extra degree of engagement in the activity of driving, and the engineer
in me finds the constant drivetrain loss just as constantly unaesthetic.
But...  the reduction in stress and bother inching along in stupid urban
traffic is real, and when I reach more-pleasing driving environs the car
(an Audi allroad) is still very engaging to drive.

As I was auditioning cars, my driving-life-long disdain for automatics
was very much at the fore.  I think there are two chronic problems with
automatics: the reduced involvement in the flow of driving, and the
slushbox's infuriating unpredictability and tendency to make the wrong
decisions about what gear to be in.  The latter of these has always been
the particular disqualifying factor me, but I found that the "sport"
mode of this Audi's Tiptronic slushbox more often than not made the same
decisions I would have made (which is to say, by definition the
"correct" ones) about what gear to be in -- keeping the revs high enough
to stay up in the motor's meaty range except when cruising on the
highway, and rarely surprising me.  Combined with the circumstance that
I'd been toying with the notion of allowing myself the indulgence of my
first German 8-cylinder motor and these were unavailable in this car
with a stick, and I took the plunge.

I remain happy with the car.  I think I'd be less happy if there weren't
still a manual-transmission car in the household as well, for when I
need that particular form of therapy; but this Audi meets my particular
needs at this time.  The adjustable suspension can rise a bit to absorb
the abuse of some of the worst urban roads in the country, rise a lot to
cruise with spooky unflappability up an unploughed snowy driveway, or
hunker down for stability at speed; I need to haul furniture and boxes
70 miles or so on a regular basis, so I need the cargo capacity of
something like this wagon-styled vehicle (and I like the "sleeper"
aspect of this extremely-fast car which isn't bright red or festooned
with wings); I simply don't like trucks, and dislike the idea of people
who don't need such a working vehicle for their construction business
tooling to the supermarket in a pickup or unnecessarily-offroad-tuned
big-tired box, so I won't be buying one of those "SUVs" infesting our
roads; and this Audi's suspension tuning and drivetrain beg you to fling
the car about when conditions allow.  As part of our car-shopping due
diligence, we tried the nearest competitor, the Mercedes E-class wagon.
The Audi eagerly whispers, "let's go!".  The Mercedes, for about $10K
more at each engine level, said nothing of the sort.  It murmured
formally that it would travel in a straight line with extreme stability,
thank you.

Having said all that, if I didn't need the cargo capacity...  one of the
things I test-drove was the nearly-perfect Audi S4, combining a lower,
smaller, lighter (yet still so solid it feels carved from a solid block
of something) car with the 4.2-liter normally-aspirated V8 tuned to
340BHP, a 6-speed manual transmission, and unflappable suspension and
brakes.  The S4 is like descriptions I've read of heroin: you may know
it's not the best practical idea, but one taste and it remains with you
forever, calling you back.