Re: [Leica] OT: was Apology now Dallas Driving

[Clif Wright <skidoophoto@yahoo.com>]

Why I live in Austin...
Clif Wright



- --- grduprey@rockwellcollins.com wrote:
> In an effort to inject a bit of levity:
> 
> A Guide to Dallas Driving:
> 
> First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It
> is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS
> depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ
> Freeway.
> 
> Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old,
> throw it out and buy
> anew one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one
> day old, then it is
> already obsolete.
> 
> Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
> Dallas has its own version
> of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray".
> 
> There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed
> chase in Dallas. We all
> drive like that.
> 
> All directions start with, "Get on Beltline"...
> which has no beginning and
> no end. (It REALLY DOESN"T!!!)
> 
> The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening
> rush hour is from 3 to
> 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
> 
> If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
> rear-ended, cussed out
> and possibly shot.
> 
> When you are the first one on the starting line,
> count to five when the
> light turns green before going to avoid crashing
> with all the drivers
> running the red light in cross-traffic.
> 
> Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life
> and a permanent form of
> entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that we
> have added George Bush
> Freeway and the High Five to the mix.
> 
> All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase,
> "Oh, we're in Fort
> Worth!"
> 
> If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is
> probably a factory
> defect.
> 
> Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators, and
> remember, its legal to
> be armed in Texas.
> 
> All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the
> right of way.
> Period...and remember, its legal to be armed in
> Texas.
> 
> Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand,
> Garland Road, Marsh Lane,
> Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road...all
> mysteriously change names as
> you cross intersections (these are only a FEW
> examples). The perfect
> example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On
> the south end it is known
> as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and
> it becomes
> Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly
> Greenville Ave, Ave K, and
> Highway 5. It ends in Sherman.
> 
> A trip across town (east to west) will take a
> minimum of four hours,
> although many north/south freeways have unposted
> minimum speeds of 75. The
> minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll
> Road is 85. Anything less
> is considered downright sissy.
> 
> It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound
> lane of EAST NORTHWEST
> Highway. Don't let this confuse you.
> 
> The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of
> NASCAR. It also ends in
> Sherman.
> 
> LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons:
> "death" and "trap."
> 
> If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next
> weekend. If it's 10 degrees
> and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is
> going on. If it's rained
> 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf
> Classic is in the second
> round (if it's Spring) or it is the Texas State Fair
> (if it's Fall).
> 
> Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks,
> airports, etc. are
> conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as
> possible so as to allow
> for ample parking on grassy areas.
> 
> Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers, and
> remember, its legal to be
> armed in Texas.
> 
> 
> --
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=====
http://www.pbase.com/clifwright

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