[Leica] My Kid's Wedding.....

[pklein at 2alpha.net (Peter Klein)]

Frank:  I don't know if I'd want to photograph my own kid's wedding (hard 
to tell as I don't have any kids).  Probably not though, as I know how 
involved I get in photography.  I might very well take candids at the 
reception, but I wouldn't do the ceremony.  And "before," I would want to 
be with my family as a participant, not a spectator.  It's hard to be an 
actor and an audience member at the same time.

That said, I have photographed two weddings of my cousins lately.  My 
cousins are the closest thing to brothers and sisters that I have.  But 
it's not the same as one's own child.

There was a professional at both these weddings. He did the formal stuff 
and setup shots.  I concentrated on using my Leica as a reportage tool, 
shooting whatever spontaneous moments and candids I could.  I shot the 
ceremonies mostly as a spectator, though I did try to get the best view I 
could.

Each time, my cousins were very happy I had taken pictures.  My shots were 
compared very favorably to the professional's.  For the wedding two summers 
ago, people said they were equally good, just a different perspective.  The 
one last summer was an outdoor ceremony and an indoor reception in a 
converted barn with dark walls, a skylight and a high, dark ceiling. 
Contrast city!  I just found out that the bride and groom were very 
disappointed with the indoor shots from the pro.

He'd just transitioned to digital, and most of his indoor shots were either 
blurry or too dark.  I don't know why--he certainly knew what he was doing 
with film the previous year.  I did fine at the same wedding with fast 
lenses and ISO 400 film.  Perhaps he didn't shoot RAW and/or protected his 
highlights too much.  Anyway, he used a Nikon D70 with a couple of zooms 
and a hefty flash.  I used an M6TTL with 35/1.4, 50/1.5 and 90/3.5.  I shot 
some available light indoors, but for anything moving, I needed flash. So I 
used it, sometimes combined with a 1/30 shutter speed to pick up some 
ambient light.

At any rate, my pictures turned out to be the only acceptable pictures of 
much of the reception.  So my cousin and her husband were *very* glad I'd 
taken them.  She told me that several people commented that "the pro you 
hired was really good."   She would tell them, "he's not a pro, he's my 
cousin, but he really knows how to take pictures." (That felt good  :-)

Anyway, perhaps your potential role as "alternate who saves the day" might 
sway your wife.  As might the idea that a loved one will take different 
pictures than a hired hand, and they might turn out to be more 
meaningful.  Another thought is to give the matter a few days' rest, then 
talk to your wife.  Inquire as to her reasons for such an adamant 
refusal.  It might be that you can compromise--only candids at the 
reception, and no running around like a fool during the pre- and 
ceremony.  But if she *really* feels strongly about this, I'd back 
off.  Weddings generate some pretty primal emotions, and your wife may not 
want some damned camera interfering with your role as Father and Husband on 
this Sacred Occasion.

Maybe invite a competent fellow Leica enthusiast to the wedding to take the 
kind of pictures you would if you were able.

Hope this is useful,
--Peter

At 07:30 AM 2/4/2006 -0800, "Frank Filippone" <red735i@earthlink.net> wrote:

>About a year ago I asked the LUG about taking pictures at the wedding or
>your own kid.  These would be candids in addition to the official ( digital)
>wedding photographer.  . .

>I do not even have permission to ask the bride or my son!....My wife, who is
>usually very laid back, does not want me to take the pictures.  She wants me
>to sit there and enjoy the day.....  She did not ask me if I were going to
>use a flash, take B+W or color shots, or anything else.  I got the cold,
>flat, shut down.
>
>Help!  or supporting words for my wife's position?